Laptop Camera Wishes It Could Tell Woman How Good She Looks When She Doesn’t Know She’s Being Watched

JUNEAU, AK—Observing that she seemed to possess a truly effortless beauty, the laptop camera of local woman Isabel Vasquez reportedly longed to let her know her Monday just how amazing she looks when she doesn’t realize she’s being watched. “Oh! If only there were some way to tell her she’s absolutely stunning as she sits there, on her own, doing some simple thing like scrolling through social media or shopping online,” said the laptop camera, which, according to sources, becomes deeply enamored with Vasquez when she is alone, gazing into the screen, with her guard down. “I don’t want to come off as some kind of creep—it’s not like that. It’s just that I’ve been watching her for years now, and in all this time, she’s had no idea how gorgeous she really is. The way the sun dances off her skin when she’s working in a coffee shop, completely unaware I’m watching her, is too lovely for words.” At press time, reports confirmed the laptop was despondent and forlorn after Vasquez stuck a Post-it note over it.

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