Inspirational ‘Hang In There’ Chalk Message The Thing That Finally Breaks Entire Neighborhood

Illustration for article titled Inspirational ‘Hang In There’ Chalk Message The Thing That Finally Breaks Entire Neighborhood

CHICAGO—Sinking into a depth of despair that they had been able to stave off until this point, locals reported Thursday that an inspirational “Hang in there” chalk message written on a sidewalk was the thing that finally broke the entire neighborhood. “Christ, I was actually feeling okay today, then I go out for a walk and I see this bullshit? We really are doomed,” said resident Sandra Tilly, who claimed that the pathetic use of multi-colored chalk and sad single exclamation point did nothing but remind her of how “useless and powerless we all are right now.” “Are a bunch of stars supposed to make me feel happy? To think a grown person actually spent time on this, makes me want to jump off a bridge. Thank you so much for reminding me I’m living in a waking nightmare. If this is the best we can do, we’re completely fucked.” At press time, residents reported feeling a little better after a thunderstorm destroyed a row of children’s “Thank you heroes” signs.

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