ATHENS, GA—Saying he would personally be extremely wary of investing in a property with such a fundamental structural flaw, home inspector Samuel Finch warned local couple Irene and Matthew Gilman today that the house they were considering purchasing lacked a banister you can slide all the way down. “I hate to have such bad news to report, but it’s best you folks know now that the front staircase here does not have a railing you can sit on and zoom all the way down from top to bottom—it’s in pretty bad shape,” said Finch, adding that moving into a home with a banister that is smooth and wide enough to ensure a fast and stable ride would be particularly important if the couple was planning to start a family. “As you can see, the current railing is far too thin and angular to allow for a fun slide down. If you do buy this property, the banister is going to need around $1,500 worth of work, and more if you want a large, round post that stops you once you’ve gotten to the bottom. I would seriously reconsider moving forward with this deal if I were you.” Finch added that he would be happy to come back later if the couple ended up opting to renovate to ensure the banister was functioning correctly.
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