DUBUQUE, IA—Noting his decades of teaching experience and keen eye for talent, East Dubuque High School drama teacher David Vargo already has a pretty good idea who he’ll pick to be this fall’s girlfriend. “There were so many strong contenders this year, so it took me a while to narrow it down, but at the end of the day, Chloe [Quindlen] was just a head and shoulders above the rest,” said Vargo of the East Dubuque High School sophomore who first came to his attention as a chorus member in last winter’s production of Parade. “After Tina graduated last spring, I wasn’t really sure who was going to fill her shoes. It was extremely competitive, and you want to give every girl a good look and a fair shot, but I really think Chloe will come into her own in this role. Trust me, I’ll give her all the help she wants to blossom and grow.” Vargo emphasized that the role of his fall girlfriend was a prestigious one among East Dubuque’s female students, coming as it does with a near-guaranteed part in his spring fling as well as a chance to audition as his summer fuckbuddy.