CINCINNATI—Springing into action within moments of seeing the plastic cup topple over, hero coworker Brian Alvarez contributed a single tissue to the water-spill cleanup efforts at the desk of an officemate, sources at Bridgemeyer Marketing Services stated Monday. Several reports indicated that Alvarez selflessly removed the sheet of facial tissue from a dispenser he keeps on his own desk and valiantly dropped the two-ply 8-by-8-inch paper product onto the expanding puddle as it neared a cup of pencils. Though the tissue ultimately could not contain the estimated 16 ounces of water as it spread across the desk and onto the floor, sources confirmed the gallant 33-year-old had nonetheless sacrificed part of his own personal 75-count box of Kleenex so that others might remain dry. At press time, eyewitnesses reported that an even more heroic coworker had contributed a wadded-up takeout napkin to the effort.

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