CHICOPEE, MA—Recalling that the sight of his bride barely weakened his knees as he stood waiting at the altar, local newlywed Aaron Kraus admitted to reporters Thursday that his wife could have looked a little bit more radiant on their wedding day last weekend. “I’ll be honest, when I first saw her enter the church with her father, I was slightly let down by just how little she was glowing,” said Kraus, adding that, while still looking quite beautiful as she glided down the aisle, his bride-to-be probably only lit up half the room at most. “Don’t get me wrong, she’s a very attractive girl, but last Saturday I wouldn’t say she was truly breathtaking. I mean, I’d be lying if I said she hasn’t looked more stunning on probably a dozen other occasions.” Kraus went on to say that, while disappointing, his bride’s underwhelming appearance scarcely caused him to reconsider marrying her at all.


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