Funeral Alright

Illustration for article titled Funeral Alright

ROCKFORD, IL—Describing the ceremony as lackluster but nonetheless functional, family friend Taylor Evans told reporters Wednesday that the homegoing service of Charles Culpepper was just alright. “It wasn’t one of my favorites—not even in top five—but it celebrated Chuck’s life, and that’s ultimately what it’s all about,” said Evans, noting the “less than spectacular” turnout and describing the reception spread as “fairly pedestrian.” “I like that his granddaughter kept it short with her eulogy, although it didn’t sound like they had much of a connection. They had a little slideshow of pictures, and a few of them were pretty funny, I guess. Honestly, it wasn’t the most organized funeral, either. We had some trouble getting the procession set up, but it all got sorted out eventually. I decided to skip the repass, and that should really tell you all you need to know.” At press time, Evans tossed out Culpepper’s funeral program after resolving that it didn’t merit a spot on his wall-of-fame. 

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