Friends Don’t Understand How Man Not Depressed

GARDEN GROVE, FL—Citing factors such as his low-paying job, lack of foreseeable prospects, and modest living conditions, sources close to local resident Karl Brewster said Thursday they are at a loss to explain his day-to-day cheerfulness in the face of such a bleak existence. “On paper, he’s a loser with no realistic escape from his ordeal, but for some reason he’s smiling all the time,” longtime friend Peter Gunderson said of the 32-year-old man who is reportedly consumed by neither self-hatred nor feelings of hopelessness. “How does he even get out of bed in the morning? I get depressed just walking into that dimly lit studio apartment of his.” Brewster’s brother Mitch agreed: “For a guy who lives alone and walks dogs for a living, he’s way, way too happy. Things are going much better for me than they are for him, and I’m a nonstop wreck.” While admitting Brewster has never once mentioned seeking the help of a mental health professional, friends said the only logical explanation is that he must have the absolute best therapist on the planet.

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