Friends Camping Out In Woods Just Happy To Escape The Daily Grind Of Federal Prison

Illustration for article titled Friends Camping Out In Woods Just Happy To Escape The Daily Grind Of Federal Prison

CLEARVILLE, PA—Acknowledging that getting the chance to relax in nature was its own reward, a group of longtime friends camping out in the woods confirmed Wednesday that they were just happy to escape the daily grind of federal prison. “It sounds like the simplest thing in the world, but it’s unbelievably nice to sit by the lake and think your own thoughts for an afternoon without the rigid structure of penitentiary life,” said convict Jesse Howell, who like his friends claimed that sitting against a tree feeling the breeze in his hair was a nice change from the rat race of roll call, meals, and 15 minutes in the yard. “My pals and I have been planning a trip like this for five to seven years, so it’s nice to finally kick back and bask in the beauty of the natural world. Just look at all these stars—you can’t even see them back at The House, what with the light pollution and the 12 inches of reinforced concrete.” Howell added that despite their efforts to stay “off the grid,” their respite would probably only last a few more days before they were called back to address mundane concerns, such as the three guards they murdered while setting out. 

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