Illustration for article titled Everyone In Family Compliments Grandmother On How Small And Feeble She’s Gotten

WHEATON, IL—Uttering surprised exclamations and smiling in amazement at her wrinkled, wizened frame shortly after she arrived for the Thanksgiving holiday, every member of the Hostig family complimented their grandmother, Judith Hostig, on how small and feeble she has gotten, sources confirmed Wednesday. “Oh, my goodness, you’re so much more frail and withered than when I last saw you!” said granddaughter Elise Hostig, adding that she could remember the days when the 83-year-old was still a vibrant, robust woman whose sallow skin didn’t even sag off of her body. “Gosh, it’s like you shrank into this shriveled little person overnight. Before we know it, you’ll be a tiny, hunched-over mound!” Sources confirmed that family members then made the octogenarian stand back-to-back with her 7-year old grandson for a comparison.


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