LENOX, GA—Cringing at the thought of the embarrassing blunder being forever preserved on film, a local garter snake was reportedly humiliated Friday after a documentary crew caught footage of it completely whiffing while lunging at a toad. “Dammit, I almost never miss, but of course as soon as the cameras are rolling I totally botch it,” said the snake, bemoaning the fact that its rare misfire would now likely be seen by millions of people worldwide and possibly played multiple times in slow motion. “I bet when that thing airs they won’t even bother to mention the hundreds of other toads I’ve snagged throughout my lifetime. The other day, I plucked a mouse right off a log. Where were those cameras then?” At press time, the predatory reptile reportedly expressed additional frustration when the documentary crew managed to record it striking out big time with a female garter snake.

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