WESTBROOK, ME—Marveling aloud at how many varieties of the product were available before vocalizing his preference for “just the regular mint one,” 82-year-old Rite Aid patron Calvin Wight reportedly stretched out a conversation about toothpaste with one of the pharmacy’s employees Monday in order to prolong his contact with another human being. “Crest used to come in an aluminum tube, did you know that?” said Wight, extending what had started as a simple question about the location of the particular brand of toothpaste into several more moments of human connection with the worker, who sources confirmed muttered an occasional “Oh, yeah?” while continuing to restock a nearby display of Edge shaving gel. “I’ve always used Crest for as long as I can remember. I never could do Listerine, though. That’s always been too strong for me.” At press time, Wight was purchasing the toothpaste at the front counter, where he read the cashier’s name aloud from her name tag and then began remarking how the site occupied by the Rite Aid used to be a First Federal bank.

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