Dog Takes Pilgrimage To Holy Site Where It Once Found Rotisserie Chicken On Side Of Road

COLUMBUS, OH—Compelled by a power greater than himself to leave his beloved home and tread the path of all-surpassing glory, Sawyer, a 4-year-old Jack Russell Terrier, set off Wednesday on a pilgrimage to that selfsame consecrated site where he once found a whole rotisserie chicken resting by the side of the road. Upon his 45-minute journey, Sawyer faced and overcame great adversity, including a barrage of insistent tugging on the leash held by his faithless owner; various unspeakable yet seductive odors; and the many temptations offered by other neighborhood dogs, yet he remained steadfast in the pursuit of meaty possibilities. Fueled by his simple yet powerful faith and drawn ever onward by visions of the glorious bounty that might very well await him, from humble parcels of abandoned bacon to split-open canned hams to the dream of an entire 3-foot length of abandoned Genoa salami, Sawyer marched on, the light of his faith undimmed. Upon his arrival at the divine location, in line with canine eschatology, Sawyer bowed his head, bent his keen nose to his task, and began to circle and criss-cross the area in hopes of a sign. At press time, it was confirmed that Sawyer’s owners had unsuccessfully attempted to prevent him from consuming the remains of a week-old roast beef sandwich and have rushed him to an emergency animal clinic.

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