Dirty Slush Machine Provides Children In Florida Taste Of Winter

FORT LAUDERDALE, FL—Smiling as their children played among the mounds of gray, icy slop, local parents told reporters Tuesday that a dirty slush machine had successfully provided their families with a small taste of winter in Florida. “I was raised in a city up north, so we had this all the time, but my 6-year-old daughter took her first sled ride on a hill of filthy mush not even 10 minutes from our house,” said Karen Rosen, who told reporters she was impressed at how the diesel-powered blower had fully transformed a patch of asphalt outside Coral Ridge Mall into a grimy sludge winterland. “Getting to watch my child do a snow angel in a layer of freezing gunk, motor oil, and salt was a real treat for me.” Rosen added that her only complaint was that the dirty slush had completely melted away into water and deicing chemicals before she and her daughter could build a snowman.

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