Coworker Loudly Typing Away Like 1930s Cub Reporter Chasing Hot Lead

Illustration for article titled Coworker Loudly Typing Away Like 1930s Cub Reporter Chasing Hot Lead

NEW YORK—Unable to ignore the incessant clatter arising from the man’s cubicle, several Westerbrook Financial employees confirmed Friday that their coworker Eric Ford was noisily typing away at his desk like a 1930s cub reporter chasing a hot lead. According to colleagues, the 31-year-old analyst was furiously writing up an investment evaluation as though he were a fedora-clad young hotshot in a smoke-filled bullpen, quickly transcribing notes for a big scoop that would blow the lid off a major scandal. For a period of at least 30 minutes, Ford was said to have hammered relentlessly on the keyboard of his laptop—and not a Smith Corona typewriter, as those listening in might have assumed—completing the risk analysis and valuation sections of his report with the enthusiasm of a young, inexperienced reporter frantically trying to beat the print deadline of the evening edition in an effort to make a name for himself in local journalism circles and get his grizzled managing editor off his case. Describing the situation as not at all dissimilar from that of an intrepid ink-slinger who was just about to leap from his chair, hold his freshly typed story above his head, and scream “Stop the presses!” at the top of his lungs, sources said Ford banged out the closing lines of the report with an especially clamorous series of keystrokes befitting a rising newspaperman in the golden era of print news. After a few last seconds of frenzied typing that ended with a final flourish of several hard returns, Ford was said to have grabbed his coat and rushed out to get lunch like he had just received a hot tip about something big going down at the docks.