Illustration for article titled Coworker Apparently Just Going To Stare At Lunch In Microwave For Entire 3-Minute Cook Time

CLEVELAND—Noting his evident reluctance to break eye contact with the steadily rotating tupperware container, employees at Vizer Solutions speculated Tuesday that coworker Edward Morris was apparently just going to stare at his lunch in the microwave for the entire three-minute cook time. “Man, I guess his plan is to just stand a few feet off and peer at his food until the timer finally goes off,” said employee Patricia Clarke, noting that the visibly exhausted Morris had not moved once, even when a coworker was forced to squeeze past him to use the tea drawer, instead opting to stand his ground and maintain an intense direct line of sight with his meal. “It’s just ziti, too. No one is going to steal it, and there’s no chance that he’ll overcook it. God, he looks so determined, though.” At press time, Morris had continued to stare intently at his meal for 30 full seconds after the timer went off before sighing deeply and finally removing it from the microwave.


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