Couple Going At It Like Tired, Sexually Incompetent Rabbits

Illustration for article titled Couple Going At It Like Tired, Sexually Incompetent Rabbits

NORTHAMPTON, MA—Following a long day of work and domestic drudgery, local husband and wife Gene and Brenda Nussbaum are reportedly going at it like a pair of exhausted, sexually inept rabbits. According to sources close to the perpetually tired pair, the two are really going to town on each other like a couple of resigned, sexually incompetent love bunnies who haven’t had sex in weeks. Having listlessly initiated the bout of coitus, sources confirmed Gene Nussbaum is frantically humping his wife like a short-of-breath young buck who at any moment could lose his erection, while Brenda is passively awaiting her husband’s orgasm like a fatigued, sexually disinterested cat in heat. At press time, following Gene’s stunted ejaculation, the Nussbaums were reportedly watching television and eating pretzels like there’s no tomorrow.

Advertisement

Share This Story

Get our newsletter