HARTFORD, CT—In an effort to remain financially solvent by keeping payroll expenditures in check, executives at the Banford Group announced Tuesday they would have to start hiring more female employees. “Due to ongoing economic pressures, it’s crucial for the well-being of this company to rein in the growth of operating costs, so effective immediately all new hires must be women,” said CEO Jay Collier, adding that the cutbacks would require department managers to only consider female employees for promotions within the company’s ranks. “It’s not going to be easy, but we’ve got to tighten our belts until we’re more financially stable, and that means bringing on a female candidate for every open position. Once we return to steady profitability, we can get back to hiring men.” Collier added that the shift toward female staffers would also allow the company to save money by suspending its executive development program.

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