Company Commits To Hiring More Bengal Tigers In Effort To Improve Office Biodiversity

NEWARK, NJ—Pledging to foster a workplace environment more representative of the animal kingdom at large, local accounting firm Hilltop Partners announced Thursday a commitment to recruiting and hiring more Bengal tiger candidates as part of a new office biodiversity initiative. “Hilltop Partners recently welcomed a Bengal tiger junior accountant and a Bengal tiger administrative assistant—the first, we hope, of many such hires,” said Hilltop CEO Glen Shaw, who pledged to seek out biodiverse employees and cultivate a more inclusive workspace that would open doors to all walks of life, not just individuals lucky enough to have been born human. “There are many barriers that critically endangered candidates have to overcome, but there are also many ways we can reach out to them, whether by setting up recruitment events in their natural habitats or expanding our cafeteria options to include raw venison, wild boar, and water buffalo. We realized it simply wasn’t acceptable that our staff was 100% human, with the exception of that one macaw in HR who’s been with us since the beginning.” At press time, sources confirmed Hilltop Partners was facing a public relations backlash after it was revealed the firm had only hired white Bengal tigers.

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