LOS ANGELES—Having rehearsed the script for several hours before giving what he believed was a solid audition, local actor Mark Folta was reportedly disappointed to be informed Friday that he just doesn’t have that Prego tomato sauce look. “We appreciate you coming in today, but we’re really looking for someone with that classic Prego screen presence, and unfortunately we just don’t believe that’s you,” said casting director Kelly Lombardi, who explained to Folta that while he displayed impressive spaghetti-twirling technique and had delivered the line “Mmm, that’s rich” convincingly, he just simply didn’t possess that distinctive, timeless air that has always been synonymous with the Prego line of homestyle pasta sauces. “When America thinks of Prego, they picture icons like Eric Marsdale from our 1991 Prego versus Ragu spot, or a legend like Angela Ramos raising a spoonful of sauce to her nose while flashing that signature close-mouthed smile as steam wafts into her nostrils. Listen, kid, I hate to say it, but some people have it and some people don’t. Best of luck to you.” Visibly distressed and downtrodden following his failed Prego performance, Folta was, at press time, said to be absolutely nailing his Excedrin audition.
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