CLEMSON, SC—Following the tragic death of Clemson University sophomore Ben Pruett, surviving roommate Ryan Greene decided to honor the deceased student’s memory Thursday by solemnly eating all of his perishable foods. “This is a sad day,” said Greene while slowly opening Pruett’s peanut butter and making a sandwich with his late friend’s bread. “It’s crazy to think that just three days ago he was hanging out eating this Honeycomb cereal and drinking this Diet Mountain Dew, but now Ben’s gone forever. I’m really going to miss him.” As of press time, Greene was morosely moving his roommate’s printer paper, scissors, and pencils to his own desk.
More from The Onion