HINSDALE, IL—Moments after wrestling the Switch controller from Dylan Wheeler’s hands and pushing the child towards the door of the intensive care unit, Wheeler’s parents mollified the 9-year-old Monday by promising him that he could go right back to playing video games once he had given his dying grandfather one last hug. “Just give Grampa a little hug, and maybe even a kiss, and you can go straight back to Splatoon. Can you do that for me, Dylan?” said Cyndi Wheeler, 39, stressing to her son that the simple gesture would mean “a whole bunch” to her ailing father, who, despite being rendered nearly insensate by painkillers, had repeatedly and tearfully communicated his desire to see his only grandson one last time. “It’ll only take a second, honey. All I need you to do—Dylan, I need you to listen to me now—all I need you to do is say ‘bye-bye’ and do a both-arms hug while counting to three like we practiced.” Sources close to the Wheelers claim the third-grader spent his grandfather’s last moment on Earth wondering what McDonald’s treat he would be rewarded with on the drive home.
More from The Onion