BALTIMORE—Employees at local technology firm Halverson Enterprises remarked to reporters Monday that CEO Peter Weathers, 61, has an extraordinary gift for discovering great ideas and then swiftly running them into the ground with his horrible modifications. “He’s just incredible at picking out the best proposal, watering it down, putting the wrong person in charge of it, and then abandoning the whole thing once it’s clear that he’s created a complete fucking train wreck,” said senior sales manager Francesca O’Toole, who added that even more remarkable was the virtuoso CEO’s knack at recklessly sinking enormous sums of the company’s money into the plans after he had thoroughly destroyed anything worthwhile about them. “It’s pretty incredible to watch [Weathers] walk into a project proposal meeting, commandeer the ideas that you’ve spent weeks tirelessly crafting, and then, in a split second, just transform them into total goddamn wastes of everyone’s time and energy. That’s the special ‘Weathers touch’ that really makes it obvious what a rare talent he is.” Sources also confirmed that Weathers has an undeniable flair for blaming someone else after the plans he had butchered inevitably failed.
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