ROCKVILLE, MD—Staring attentively at the potential prey while carefully weighing its best course of action, local cat Jasper was reportedly locked in an intense internal debate Wednesday about whether or not to rip the head off a smaller creature it had just happened upon. “Hmm, should I just walk on by or should I sink my teeth into its neck and pop that little head right off?” the 6-year-old American shorthair reportedly thought to itself, prowling within striking distance as it mulled over viciously decapitating the seemingly unaware chipmunk that stood foraging in the grass just a few feet away from it or simply continuing on with its day. “I could pounce on that thing and snap its head off in one bite, easy. Or I could just slink over there and curl up on that chair on the deck. Tough call.” At press time, the cat had opted to bat around the mortally wounded rodent a few dozen times to give it a little extra time to decide.

Advertisement