DALLAS—Finally realizing why he’d been getting so many funny looks and odd comments since leaving the house in the morning, financial analyst Christian Metz was mortified Friday to discover he had been wearing his suit backwards all day. “Oh my God, how long have my slacks, shirt, vest, and suit jacket been on backwards with my tie hanging down behind me like that?” said Metz, who admitted “feeling like a total jackass” for simply failing to notice that his lapels weren’t in front like they were supposed to be and the back of his collar was pressed up around his throat. “I must have been really out of it when I dressed myself this morning. How did I even get my belt buckled without figuring out something was off? Oh, no. I just realized I was dressed like this for my big quarterly sales presentation. Well, with any luck, nobody noticed.” At press time, Metz had yet to realize that the computer problems he had suffered through all day were the result of trying to type with his shoes on the wrong hands.
More from The Onion