Baby Feels Foolish After Realizing Stranger Waving At Toddler Next Seat Over

NEW YORK—Wishing he could just curl up under his blanket and die, infant Liam Henderson reportedly felt foolish Thursday after realizing a stranger he had responded to on the subway was actually waving at the toddler sitting one seat over. “Oh my God, I was smiling and babbling at him the whole time—I’m such an idiot,” said Henderson, adding that he was mortified at having burbled nonsense syllables at a man who was in fact interacting with a 2-year-old girl sitting nearby. “There’s no way to brush this one under the rug. I mean, I made a loud cooing noise and flailed my arms up and down like a complete moron. I must have looked like a total fucking doofus. I swear, if my arms were just a little longer, I would pull that emergency lever and abandon ship.” Sources confirmed Henderson then spent a few seconds looking frantically around the train car for something else he could pretend to have been laughing at when he suddenly became distracted by his toes.

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