TOPEKA, KS—Deeply inspired by the senior citizen’s refusal to conform to society’s rigid and closed-minded expectations, aspiring felon Matthias Winnow said Wednesday how moved he was that lawyer and lobbyist Paul Manafort, 69, didn’t get his first eight convictions until his late 60s. “Wow. Just wow. I thought my best years were already behind me and I would never get a shot at a big-time crime, but a hustler like Manafort really goes to show how you can become a successful felon later in life,” a misty-eyed Winnow said of the former Trump campaign chairman, recalling the moment he first learned that Manafort—at the age when most men like him were either already serving lifetime sentences or had been shot while trying to escape—was found guilty on eight counts of financial fraud. “Everyone tells you that if you don’t have at least a couple arrests by the time you’re 30, you might as well forget it. Manafort has proved them all wrong, and for that, I’ll always be grateful. This gives me the confidence boost I need to go out and prove that it’s not too late for me to become an accomplished criminal, too.” Winnow also expressed his hope that Manafort continues his streak and is found guilty of conspiracy and obstruction of justice in his upcoming September trial.
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