Illustration for article titled Area Mom Convinced 30-Year-Old Daughter Would Be Married By Now If She Just Brushed Her Hair More

LAYTON, UT—Certain it was all that was holding her back from finding the man of her dreams, area mom Janet Kessler told reporters Thursday that she was convinced her 30-year-old daughter Meredith would be married by now if she just brushed her hair more. “You know, if you just took a few extra minutes in the morning to run a comb through your hair, I’m absolutely certain you’d have a husband by now,” said Kessler, adding that if Meredith didn’t take care of the frizz, the closest she’d ever get to a wedding would be as someone else’s bridesmaid. “I’m not saying that you have to do anything fancy, but I know you would’ve already tied the knot if you just made a real effort to get those tangles out. Who wants to spend their life with someone who pulls their hair back like some farm girl?” Kessler went on to say she’d have at least one grandchild by now if her daughter just wore lipstick every once in a while.


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