KENT, WA—Noting that there’s simply not room in his life for both a serious commitment and the numerous serialized dramas he’s currently watching, local man Rob Anaya told reporters he’s thankful to be single during the golden age of television. “Things have just been going so well recently with Man In The High Castle and Handmaid’s Tale, I would never want to put all that on hold for a girlfriend,” said Anaya, explaining that, with Netflix having just renewed gritty crime drama Ozark for a third season, this was the ideal time for him to be unattached. “God, can you imagine if I were on a date right now instead of spending another night watching Better Call Saul alone in my room? I mean, I just got an HBO Go subscription to rewatch all-time classic prestige dramas Six Feet Under and The Sopranos, not to mention that new episodes of High Maintenance, Game Of Thrones, and Insecure are just around the corner. I’m just so grateful I don’t have a devoted significant other jeopardizing that.” At press time, Anaya was discussing the latest episode of The Good Place with his coworkers, each of whom manages to watch the show every week with their spouse.

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