Illustration for article titled Area Man Patiently Waiting For Humiliating Email To Cycle Off First Page

EAU CLAIRE, WI—Hoping for additional emails to quickly arrive and take up space in his inbox, local man Steve Mazza told reporters Wednesday that he is patiently waiting for a humiliating message to cycle off the first page of his email program. “It looks like I’ve got a few more days until there’s enough new stuff to bump this thing to the second page,” said Mazza, referring to an email with the subject line “RE: Dinner sometime…?” in which a female acquaintance politely, but unambiguously, rejects Mazza’s invitation to go on a date. “It’s almost low enough on the front page now where I won’t see it without scrolling down, but it’ll take about 30 more messages before this thing is off my screen for good. I could really use a few Facebook notification emails right about now.” At press time, a restless Mazza was considering loosening his spam filter to help push away the shameful email even sooner.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter