FORT DODGE, IA—Saying the first mouthful of the cheeseburger had been mostly bun and lettuce, local man Tony Rossetti confirmed Friday that he got a good amount of meat in that last bite. “That was a good one, mostly meat,” said Rossetti, who held up the sandwich and carefully scrutinized the cross-section of bread, meat, cheese, and condiments before continuing to consume the cheeseburger. “I hope the next bite is like that or even better. Right now, it looks like I’m in a pretty decent section of the cheeseburger.” At press time, Rossetti told reporters that the next bite also had a solid amount of meat.

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