SHERIDAN, WY—Saying he must get them somehow but that his means of procurement remained a mystery, the children of area father Don Griffith, 42, confirmed Friday they have no idea where he gets his shirts. “We know he gets new ones, because he’ll wear the same old stuff for a long time and then all of a sudden he’ll put on some sort of plaid Nautica golf shirt we’ve never seen him in before,” said Don Griffith Jr., 14, noting that the only exceptions were his father’s T-shirts, which usually featured written phrases indicating where he got them from. “I don’t even know when he would have time to go out and buy them. It seems like he’s usually with us when he’s not working. Maybe there’s a shirt store by his office?” At press time, the children realized that, oh, right, Mom buys them.

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