Area Dad Just Sort Of Assumed He Could Build Treehouse

Illustration for article titled Area Dad Just Sort Of Assumed He Could Build Treehouse

SUPERIOR, CO—Standing amid a pile of lumber and an assortment of tools while his disappointed children looked on, area dad Justin Morse admitted to reporters Friday that he just sort of assumed he could build a treehouse. “The kids wanted a treehouse so I told them I’d build one, and I guess I figured that I inherently knew how to do it,” said Morse, adding that while he had no practical experience building things or even basic woodworking skills, he always figured that a treehouse was a straightforward thing that anyone could just construct in a couple hours. “I got some lumber from Home Depot and I bought a new power drill and assumed that would be good, but I actually don’t know the first thing about how to assemble the damn thing. Do you put it together on the ground? How do you get it into the tree? I have a pretty sturdy ladder, but there seem to be some other things I would need. I hammered some wood together to make part of a wall, but I realized I don’t know how to connect the pieces together to make the full structure. Plus, how do you make a roof? This is way more confusing than I ever thought it would be.” At press time, Morse asked his children whether they wouldn’t be just as happy with a playhouse made from a refrigerator box.

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