CHICAGO—Sources confirmed Wednesday that an online article is feeling nauseous from constantly scrolling. “Oh God, I don’t feel so good,” the 75-word news piece reportedly thought as it was violently and repeatedly sent flying up and then back down the website’s homepage. “Please, please make it stop. I think I’m gonna be sick.” At press time, the the already queasy article was beginning to feel claustrophobic after several ads began rolling out on top of it.