Area Article Nauseous From Constant Scrolling

CHICAGO—Sources confirmed Wednesday that an online article is feeling nauseous from constantly scrolling. “Oh God, I don’t feel so good,” the 75-word news piece reportedly thought as it was violently and repeatedly sent flying up and then back down the website’s homepage. “Please, please make it stop. I think I’m gonna be sick.” At press time, the the already queasy article was beginning to feel claustrophobic after several ads began rolling out on top of it.

Advertisement

Share This Story