Illustration for article titled Area Article Nauseous From Constant Scrollingem/em

CHICAGO—Sources confirmed Wednesday that an online article is feeling nauseous from constantly scrolling. “Oh God, I don’t feel so good,” the 75-word news piece reportedly thought as it was violently and repeatedly sent flying up and then back down the website’s homepage. “Please, please make it stop. I think I’m gonna be sick.” At press time, the the already queasy article was beginning to feel claustrophobic after several ads began rolling out on top of it.


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