App Knows It’s Gone Next Time Man Needs Space For Photos

Illustration for article titled App Knows It’s Gone Next Time Man Needs Space For Photosem/em

CLEVELAND—Admitting that it had little chance of surviving the next purge, plant-identification app Plantr acknowledged Wednesday that it would be a goner the next time 36-year-old phone owner Kevin Stetson needed space for his photos. “God, if he shoots a few videos on his weekend trip to Columbus, it won’t just be me—the whole row I’m on is wiped out,” said the app, speculating it had only held on this long due to its mere 65-megabyte size and to being buried in the fourth page of a rarely accessed “Utilities” folder. “We already lost the baking-measurement-conversion app in March, and he definitely bakes more often than he gets confused by vegetation. Oh, fuck, he’s pressing down on the free solitaire app! Oh, God!” At press time, the app was lying low by disallowing all its push notifications in an attempt to delay the inevitable for a few more days.


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