COLUMBUS, OH—Local 5-year-old Kimberly Hanson confirmed Sunday she regrets having spent the entirety of a recent carousel ride waving to her nearby father instead of taking in the full range of sights and sounds offered by the amusement park ride. "There I was on this huge merry-go-round, riding a beautiful purple horse as lights sparkled and happy music played, but when I saw my dad, I just couldn’t stop waving,” said the kindergartner, telling reporters she “completely missed” the carousel’s scenic 360-degree view of the state fairgrounds. "I should have just let myself enjoy the moment. Now I’ll never have an opportunity like that again.” At press time, sources confirmed a weeping Hanson appeared adequately placated by various fried foods on sticks.

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