LAWRENCE, KS—Racking his brain for anything that he liked or an activity that could be considered a hobby, local 42-year-old man Dennis Ferraro told reporters Tuesday that he was still unsure what his interests are. “I have a dog, but I don’t think that counts as an interest, per se,” said a befuddled Ferraro, adding that he also enjoys movies, but doesn’t necessarily watch them any more than the average person, so he’s unsure if that counts either, a conclusion he had also reached about exercise, driving, and music. “I mean, I cook pretty regularly, but that’s not because I’m super into cooking; it’s mainly just to have food to eat. Gosh, this is tough. I asked my wife, and she didn’t really know either.” At press time, Ferraro had lost interest in trying to find out the answer.
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