34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

Illustration for article titled 34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Can I get that big one right there? Yep, that one,” said the senior marketing manager, husband, and father of two while eagerly holding out his plastic plate in anticipation, having actively sought out the slice not only for its size but also because it had a full, intact icing flower on it. “Yeah, you got it. Perfect.” At press time, Hinke was making room on his plate for a big scoop of ice cream.