250-Pound Man Sadly In Best Shape Of His Life

ORLANDO, FL—Stating that he has shed nearly 10 percent of his body weight this year and is now down to 250 pounds, local 36-year-old Michael Peters sadly revealed Monday that he is in the best shape of his life. “Man, I feel great!” said the still-obese man, whose health, depressingly enough, has reached an all-time peak, leaving him at high risk for heart disease, Type 2 diabetes, and many other serious conditions. “I’ve dropped 25 pounds, and for the first time in my adult life I’m wearing pants with a 46-inch waist. I’m back down to my college weight!” At press time, Peters was reportedly sweating.

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