TAUNTON, MA—Noting the limited number of gifts requested and the omission of the year’s most popular toys, sources confirmed Wednesday that 12-year-old David Huffman’s Christmas list demonstrates a heartbreaking awareness of his family’s current financial circumstances. “Lego has this high-speed train set that looks awesome, but I think I’m just going to ask for the little gas station they make,” said Huffman, who, in a further distressing display of his appreciation for the hard times that have befallen his family, added that a replica rubber football would probably be just as good as the nice ones made of either leather or a composite material. “Oh, and I really want to get BioShock Infinite, and it came out in March, so they can definitely find a used copy at GameStop, which is fine. A new controller would be great too, but honestly, the one I have isn’t that bad once you’re used to how the ‘A’ button kind of sticks.” At press time, Huffman was quietly crossing a few items off his list while listening to a particularly heated argument between his parents over a credit card bill.

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