ALEXANDRIA, VA—Marveling at his extraordinary proficiency in geometry for someone his age, teachers at T.C. Williams High School told reporters Thursday that local 10th-grade prodigy Michael Greenan is currently studying mathematics at a 10th-grade level. “Michael is a really gifted kid. He’s working his way through a sophomore math textbook right now, learning and applying concepts such as the Pythagorean theorem and the Cartesian coordinate system that his fellow 10th-graders can’t even begin to comprehend,” said Greenan’s math teacher, Emily Cress, citing the 16-year-old whiz’s impressive understanding of the state-mandated curriculum that is designated appropriate for his age range. “The truth is, he’s always had exceptional mathematical abilities. I remember hearing crazy stories years ago about how he passed his eighth-grade placement tests at 13. If he keeps this up, by the end of the year, he could be ready for 11th-grade algebra 2.” Cress went on to add that at this rate, the wunderkind will probably graduate from college by the time he’s 22.
More from The Onion