Woman Amazed She Found Perfect Partner Just When She Was Getting Desperate Enough To Accept Anything

ELKINS PARK, PA—Saying that “the universe works in mysterious ways,” local woman Rebecca Ellis claimed Monday to be amazed at how she found the perfect partner just when she was getting desperate enough to accept anything. “Who would have thought I’d find the most perfect guy for me at almost the same instant I…

‘Becoming A Mother Has Been The Most Thrilling Experience Of My Life,’ Reports Woman Fleeing Hospital With Stolen Baby

TULSA, OK—Pausing very briefly to reflect joyfully on her new role amid the day’s flurry of activity, new parent Suzanne Knott declared “becoming a mother has been the most thrilling experience of my life” Friday while fleeing the hospital with the baby she abducted mere moments before. “The very first moment I held…

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