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Illustration for City Enters Phase 4 Of Pretending Coronavirus Over

City Enters Phase 4 Of Pretending Coronavirus Over

DALLAS—Saying the city remained on track for progressing into the final stage, Mayor Eric Johnson told Dallas residents Friday that they would soon officially be entering Phase 4 of pretending the coronavirus was over. “Thanks to the efforts of municipal employees, I’m happy to say we’ve reached the final phases of completely deluding ourselves into thinking that…

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Illustration for Disgusted Patio Diner Pretty Sure She Just Saw Coronavirus Scurry Into Bushes

Disgusted Patio Diner Pretty Sure She Just Saw Coronavirus Scurry Into Bushes

Illustration for 42-Year-Old Man Still Unsure What His Interests Are

42-Year-Old Man Still Unsure What His Interests Are

15h

Man Doing Whippet While Setting Off M-80 In Woods Behind Hardee’s Takes Moment To Reflect On How Promise Of Freedom Yet Unfulfilled

Man Doing Whippet While Setting Off M-80 In Woods Behind Hardee’s Takes Moment To Reflect On How Promise Of Freedom Yet Unfulfilled

15h

Police Department Celebrates Fourth Of July By Using Fireworks For Crowd Control

Police Department Celebrates Fourth Of July By Using Fireworks For Crowd Control

Jul 3

‘Yeah, We Could Invite Friends Over And Call It A Supper Club!’ Says Couple Unknowingly Brainstorming End Of Own Relationship

‘Yeah, We Could Invite Friends Over And Call It A Supper Club!’ Says Couple Unknowingly Brainstorming End Of Own Relationship

Jul 2

Dad Speaks For First Time In 7 Years To Ask If Anyone Has Seen Tape Measure

Dad Speaks For First Time In 7 Years To Ask If Anyone Has Seen Tape Measure

Jul 2

Google Alert For Old Classmate Pays Off Big Time With Story Of Double Homicide

Google Alert For Old Classmate Pays Off Big Time With Story Of Double Homicide

Jul 2

So-Called Vegetarian Always Kills, Devours Chicken Whole Whenever She’s Drunk

So-Called Vegetarian Always Kills, Devours Chicken Whole Whenever She’s Drunk

Jul 1

Friends Camping Out In Woods Just Happy To Escape The Daily Grind Of Federal Prison

Friends Camping Out In Woods Just Happy To Escape The Daily Grind Of Federal Prison

Jul 1

Teenage Boy Fears Girlfriend Will Pressure Him Into Showering Before He Ready

Teenage Boy Fears Girlfriend Will Pressure Him Into Showering Before He Ready

Jul 1

Masturbating Female Spider Instinctively Eats Self Afterwards

Masturbating Female Spider Instinctively Eats Self Afterwards

Jun 30

Friends Itching To Destroy Man Excitedly Sharing Factoid That Actually Common Knowledge

Friends Itching To Destroy Man Excitedly Sharing Factoid That Actually Common Knowledge

Jun 29

Delivery Bag Gets Battlefield Promotion Up To Napkin

Delivery Bag Gets Battlefield Promotion Up To Napkin

Jun 29

Russian Bathhouse Guest Having Trouble Relaxing Over Sound Of Eastern-European Gangsters Planning Assassinations

Russian Bathhouse Guest Having Trouble Relaxing Over Sound Of Eastern-European Gangsters Planning Assassinations

Jun 25

Texas Children Open Oil Derrick To Splash Around On Hot Day

Texas Children Open Oil Derrick To Splash Around On Hot Day

Jun 24

Single Thick Black Hair Wondering Where It Made Wrong Turn After Popping Out Of Woman’s Chin Again

Single Thick Black Hair Wondering Where It Made Wrong Turn After Popping Out Of Woman’s Chin Again

Jun 24

Cat Sticks Paw Around Corner Like Life Some Big Fosse Routine

Cat Sticks Paw Around Corner Like Life Some Big Fosse Routine

Jun 22

Dog Owner Not Sure How City Expects Her To Pick Up Every Drop Of Dog Piss In Little Bag

Dog Owner Not Sure How City Expects Her To Pick Up Every Drop Of Dog Piss In Little Bag

Jun 22

Day Mockingly Beautiful

Day Mockingly Beautiful

Jun 19

Mom Comes Back From Long Call With Friend Looking Real Sad

Mom Comes Back From Long Call With Friend Looking Real Sad

Jun 18

‘And What Do We Want To Do About This Nest Full Of Baby Sparrows?’ Asks Barber Giving Man His First Haircut In 6 Months

‘And What Do We Want To Do About This Nest Full Of Baby Sparrows?’ Asks Barber Giving Man His First Haircut In 6 Months

Jun 17

Sweat-Soaked Mattress Praying This The Year Couple Invests In Air Conditioner

Sweat-Soaked Mattress Praying This The Year Couple Invests In Air Conditioner

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