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News in Brief

9:30 AM

Waiter Asks If Couple Would Like To Pack Him Up In Little Box And Take Him Home For Later

8:00 AM

Man Who Didn’t Order Anything Online Still Checks Name On Package Just In Case Amazon Sent Him A Little Present

9:50 AM

Dad Unleashes Haunting Moan Of Satisfaction Upon Descending Into Hot Tub

9:48 AM

Couple Takes Weekend Trip Outside City To Get Away From All The Arts And Culture

12:08 PM

‘You Should Put Your Name On The Karaoke List!’ Reports Greedy, Gluttonous Hunger For Strangers’ Approval

8:30 AM

Diagram Warning Child Could Drown In Bucket Much More Clear In Hindsight

7:30 AM

Man Scrambling To Furnish Apartment Before Date Shows Up

11:18 AM

Pregnant Woman Finally Knows Joy Of What It Feels Like To Be Big Fat Guy

11:00 AM

Man Has Faint Inkling Of What Greeting Card With Picture Of Donkey On It Might Say Inside

5:44 PM

Emergency Room Staff Assures Parents That Burger King Chicken Fries Will Pass Naturally Through Child’s System

11:45 AM

Man Calms Down From Violent Rage After Seeing ‘Or Current Resident’ On Misaddressed Letter

7:30 AM

Fertility Clinic Employee Asks Couple If They’d Like To Play With Sperm Out Back And Get To Know It Better

2:13 PM

Man Crippled By Fear Of Failure As If It Hadn’t Already Happened

10:16 AM

Engineer Thinking Bridge For This One

10:13 AM

Mom Still Seething Over Car That Blew Through Stop Sign 15 Years Ago

4:09 PM

Parkinson’s Gene Waiting To Switch On Until Everything Finally Falling Into Place For Local Man

11:25 AM

Billboard Super Judgmental Since Converting To Christianity

10:37 AM

Pedestrians Passing Each Other On Sidewalk Stop To Let Children Sniff Each Other

11:32 AM

Somebody In Mosh Pit All Sweaty

12:26 PM

‘You Should Put Your Name On The Karaoke List!’ Reports Greedy, Gluttonous Hunger For Strangers’ Approval

Pregnant Woman Finally Knows Joy Of What It Feels Like To Be Big Fat Guy

Emergency Room Staff Assures Parents That Burger King Chicken Fries Will Pass Naturally Through Child’s System

How To Choose A New Hairstyle

Teacher Who Learns More From Her Students Than She Teaches Them Fired

High School Student, Teacher Applying For Same Summer Waitressing Job

Waiter Asks If Couple Would Like To Pack Him Up In Little Box And Take Him Home For Later

Man Who Didn’t Order Anything Online Still Checks Name On Package Just In Case Amazon Sent Him A Little Present

Dad Unleashes Haunting Moan Of Satisfaction Upon Descending Into Hot Tub

Couple Takes Weekend Trip Outside City To Get Away From All The Arts And Culture

‘You Should Put Your Name On The Karaoke List!’ Reports Greedy, Gluttonous Hunger For Strangers’ Approval

Diagram Warning Child Could Drown In Bucket Much More Clear In Hindsight

Man Scrambling To Furnish Apartment Before Date Shows Up

Pregnant Woman Finally Knows Joy Of What It Feels Like To Be Big Fat Guy

Man Has Faint Inkling Of What Greeting Card With Picture Of Donkey On It Might Say Inside

Emergency Room Staff Assures Parents That Burger King Chicken Fries Will Pass Naturally Through Child’s System

Man Calms Down From Violent Rage After Seeing ‘Or Current Resident’ On Misaddressed Letter

Fertility Clinic Employee Asks Couple If They’d Like To Play With Sperm Out Back And Get To Know It Better

Man Crippled By Fear Of Failure As If It Hadn’t Already Happened

Engineer Thinking Bridge For This One

Mom Still Seething Over Car That Blew Through Stop Sign 15 Years Ago

Parkinson’s Gene Waiting To Switch On Until Everything Finally Falling Into Place For Local Man

Billboard Super Judgmental Since Converting To Christianity

Pedestrians Passing Each Other On Sidewalk Stop To Let Children Sniff Each Other

Somebody In Mosh Pit All Sweaty

Baby Delighted By Grandfather Making Silly Faces During Stroke

‘You Should Put Your Name On The Karaoke List!’ Reports Greedy, Gluttonous Hunger For Strangers’ Approval

Pregnant Woman Finally Knows Joy Of What It Feels Like To Be Big Fat Guy

Emergency Room Staff Assures Parents That Burger King Chicken Fries Will Pass Naturally Through Child’s System

CDC Recommends Also Wearing Face Mask On Back Of Head In Case Coronavirus Attacks From Rear

Bloomberg Hires Thousands Of Canvassers To Stop Black Men On Street And Force Them To Hear Campaign Pitch

Man Who Didn’t Order Anything Online Still Checks Name On Package Just In Case Amazon Sent Him A Little Present

Waiter Asks If Couple Would Like To Pack Him Up In Little Box And Take Him Home For Later

Man Who Didn’t Order Anything Online Still Checks Name On Package Just In Case Amazon Sent Him A Little Present

Dad Unleashes Haunting Moan Of Satisfaction Upon Descending Into Hot Tub

Couple Takes Weekend Trip Outside City To Get Away From All The Arts And Culture

‘You Should Put Your Name On The Karaoke List!’ Reports Greedy, Gluttonous Hunger For Strangers’ Approval

Diagram Warning Child Could Drown In Bucket Much More Clear In Hindsight

Man Scrambling To Furnish Apartment Before Date Shows Up

Pregnant Woman Finally Knows Joy Of What It Feels Like To Be Big Fat Guy

Man Has Faint Inkling Of What Greeting Card With Picture Of Donkey On It Might Say Inside

Emergency Room Staff Assures Parents That Burger King Chicken Fries Will Pass Naturally Through Child’s System

Man Calms Down From Violent Rage After Seeing ‘Or Current Resident’ On Misaddressed Letter

Fertility Clinic Employee Asks Couple If They’d Like To Play With Sperm Out Back And Get To Know It Better

Man Crippled By Fear Of Failure As If It Hadn’t Already Happened

Engineer Thinking Bridge For This One

Mom Still Seething Over Car That Blew Through Stop Sign 15 Years Ago

Parkinson’s Gene Waiting To Switch On Until Everything Finally Falling Into Place For Local Man

Billboard Super Judgmental Since Converting To Christianity

Pedestrians Passing Each Other On Sidewalk Stop To Let Children Sniff Each Other

Somebody In Mosh Pit All Sweaty

Baby Delighted By Grandfather Making Silly Faces During Stroke